and i know who the fuck you are.

what have you done? yeah, everyone keeps saying that it all hangs on ohio now, but because bush already has 2 more electoral votes (2, people. 2. 252 vs 254) and because they are looking at how many states he won, while over 200,000 votes are left to be counted in ohio, Bush is going to be in charge for four more years.

It MATTERED that you got out there and voted. It mattered that bush didn't take our republican state by 80%. And now that he is president, it matters even more that he's going to put 4 conservative judges on that all important thing called the supreme court, have you heard of it? you know, the people that decide what is constitutional and what isn't.

oh, and because you did not care enough about yourself or me or anyone to vote yesterday GA also gave 2 more nasty conservatives to the congress, which by the way is now fully controlled by the fat, rich, white men party. Are you a fat, old rich white man? Do you ever plan on being one? NO? Then why the fuck didn't you vote yesterday.

The ban on civil unions between homosexuals in GA passed, because you weren't out there to say no, this isn't right. my gay friends should have rights, that small part inside of you that has homosexual tendencies tells you that maybe one day you might need those rights, or at least every HUMAN should be afforded the same rights is an idea that should have made you vote. i mean, if gays aren't considered as HUMAN as straights, what's next? how bout we bring back segregation, i mean the germans did prove that anyone who wasn't white was an inferior race, right? now, ofcourse, this can be challenged and taken to the supreme court, but, oh wait, you didn't vote, bush is going to control it, and guess what those conservative judges will have to say about gays, dykes, fags, queers, carpet munchers, etc. FUCK.

bye bye stem cell research (sorry if you're suffering with terrible diseases, it's EVIL to try to find cures within a CELL from a blob of cells that might have one day been a fetus). bye bye women's right to choose abortion. abortion, it's a nasty word, right? well, for those of you who think it's scary and all adult-like for me to be engaged, imagine if jason and i had been forced to have a child two summers ago? forget about that, too? i mean, really, who cares about their friends anymore.

i hope you can't wait for four more years of a leader trying to rule by fear (tyranny). fear of fuure attacks, fear of that little warning level bar moving up and down, fear of EVIL. you know what's fucking evil? apathy. and you, my friends, have proven your apathy and shown the yourselves to be nothing but pathetic children.

9 days / left to live

i'm engaged! just wanted the morning after saved for posterity.

2 days / left to live

does anyone log in to read these things anymore? ah, the days of private entries and specialized friends groups and commincating in ones and zeros. gosh, what a boring night. relaxing before aids walk in the morning. chilling with my new imac G5. wishing i had a dick so i could party hardy at jim's bachelor party (tom hanks not included) blech. why is atlanta so far away? my car is getting serious millage. what the hell am i typing. i miss my pooterbear.

Mood: old
Music: mr. bungle: retrovertigo

2 days / left to live

top 5:

1) JUDE LAW - even hot in a wheel chair a la gattaca.... more sexy all alcoholic, chain-smoking like in a wheel chair....

2) JOHN C. McGINLEY- funny obi wan doc from scrubs... also totally ripped, check him out on the cover of men's health... also dedicated dad of his downs syndrom son, max. super love for buff guys who rally for inclusion of special needs children. plus he was the bob of the bob's in office space who loved michael bolton.

3) CHRISTOPHER MALONE - not just for law & order svu buffs anymore, played super funny gene in wet hot american summer, "i was in vee-it-naym" "i know, gene"

4) PETER SARSGAARD - first off, the triple a's in his name let you know he's in a class of his own... a norweigan class. loved him in shattered glass, loved him more in garden state. he's the more daper, smooth Zak Orth (wet hot american summer, down to you)

5) PENELOPE CRUZ - it's the accent, it's the big audrey hpeburn eyes, it's the tiny yet full & round breasts, it's everything about her in vanilla sky and abres los ojos

left to live

cause it obviously didn't work out for you that last time...

i had a satisfying road rage experience. driving along GA 400, doing about 80mph (which was the flow of HEAVY traffic) and staying about a car length and a half behind the person in front of me (because 400's stop & go at its very best is erratic and at its average is violently spastic while at its worst is just plain gridlock...) in order to not smash into the back of him doing eighty in case he decided to slam on his breaks, see previous parenthetical.

anyhow, this old, crappy, muted teal honda is behind me riding my ass. i don't care too much cause i'm listening to the vapid babblings of a top 40 afternoon drive time show on the radio and i'm currently too mad about their poll to see who will win the election based on which candidate is... sexier! and they weren't just trying to be funny (their base audience is people like my sister and i had to BRIBE her to register to vote...needless to say she waited till the last possible day and i still had to call the day of and beg...ggrrrr)

back to mr. guy-on-my-ass, he pulls around me and quickly cuts me off as narrowly as possible and slams on his breaks! the whole reason there was enough space for him to cut me off is because i FEAR that people in front of me will slam on their breaks! argh! so when i raised my hands in disgust he pointed at the other lane and mouthed "get in the slow lane" so i tried in vain to figure out a hand gesture for "you fucking dummy, the traffic in front of you isn't going to move any faster than i did, how could you not see that when you were behind me? it's not like i'm a gas guzzling suv that blocks the view of the cars ahead!"

the traffic in front of me, now in front of him, wasn't going any faster than i had been, so the 20 more miles i had to go i stayed a car length and a half behind him and then at my exit got to pull around him. when i did, he was looking right at me so i flicked him off! he smiled sheepishly and mouthed "i'm sorry."

hurray for people realizing the uselessness of cutting someone off in long lines of traffic! i felt so vindicated! but now... typing it all out... maybe i should focus less on the trivial occurrences of the daily commute and think about how to lobby for improved traffic laws & lower speed limits. outtie.

Mood: involved

2 days / left to live

Jace & I are walking in AIDS Walk Atlanta this year. Please please please help support us, even if it's just a dollar or two. Also, copy and paste this link into your journal so other people can get the word.

Thanks in advance.

To donate online, go here

left to live

Jace & I are walking in AIDS Walk Atlanta this year. Please please please help support us, even if it's just a dollar or two. Also, copy and paste this link into your journal so other people can get the word.

Thanks in advance.

To donate online, go here

left to live

yay! i won a mac G4 off the radio today! hurray! we needed a new comp sooooo badly. jace wanted a new one for all his graphics stuff & to practice lay outs in quark at home. i needed one cause our computer is a compaq presario from 1999! 1999 is a year i can't even relate to, so get off my ass if you're all "but it's no G5..." shut it! aaahhh.... apple.... now if i can just tackle that lotto... heh.

1 day / left to live

last one... i swear... heh, i first typed i sweat, which takes on a totally grosser meaning.

4 days / left to live

....

left to live

they're all from the july trip to the beach, it'd been years since i changed up the pics...

left to live

when i was in high school i was the card carrying libertarian. i wasn't old enough to vote but i worked on jack cashun's campaign and spouted off the proper theory & rhetoric. it seemed fine, less gov't control, keep your money where it belongs... in your pocket... i mean, i wasn't a home owner with property taxes, but i had good ol mom and dad to take care of me and my concept of money was abstract at best. i get to college and no more mom and dad. the reality of eating pop tarts for dinner sets in, cause who wants to go to the dinning hall and get a gross but square meal?!?! with no one to take care of me, it grew in my head that someone should take care of me dammit! i have no money! social healthcare! support the people! make the gov't work for us! take from the rich! nader and the green party and every michael moore show/book/film was gospel. there's a problem with putting all your eggs in one basket, though. just listen to a david cross comedy cd... every now and then you just want to tell him that it's ok not to hate everyone and maybe he should relax a little. or am i getting old? i've done the income thing, well, for a year at least. now that i'm back in school i'm finding it hard to cling to my prior green nature. i'm gonna have a career soon... a new car (bio diesel jetta all the way, 667 mi to the tank, baby!); after working a couple years i'll find a small liberal arts university to complete my grad work, be it masters or all the way through to doctorate then hopefully find employment with them, filling heads of new bleeding heart liberals with the answer to everything as an english lit prof... find a house where i can garden and jace can feel inspired to create the most interesting of freelance work... property taxes, roth iras, jetta & vespa payments, dinner parties with other young prof's... i'm gonna want my money to stay in my own pocket and pick and choose which organizations i wish to help (be it gay rights or cancer research or free clinics) i'm certainly not going to want the bureaucracy filtering out my money to programs that rarely work they way they're intended to... uh oh, in my old age am i retreating to my libertarian roots? i dunno... i do know that out of all the kids in my class last week who constantly bitch about gov't, especially local gov't and ga's backassward view on gay rights... well, not a damn one of them voted in the primaries last week, where their vote truly counts and affects their life directly on these issues they care so passionately about. i was the only one who went to the polls last tuesday, and i'll go again in a few weeks for the run offs. sounds like its time for a cane or walker, but really i think its just time to start appreciating what i have and truly acting for what i believe in, not sit in a circle on the quad and blow smoke fig & lit. heh. maybe that's why i stopped smoking. ok. i've gone on long enough. outtie.

2 days / left to live

Conversations I've Had This Year, Part I

Monday, 6/7/04, 7:58 PM, "Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay"

Me: Heh. Fox has a two hour show tonight called "Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay"

Mom: What?

Me: Well, it's not a movie, movies are shaded grey *passes tv weekly booklet to mom*

Sis: No, it's a movie, see... *tv screen shows the universal world logo spinning round*

Me: Huh. *quickly snatches tv weekly and flips to the back where the movie synops are listed* No, there's no movie listed as Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay.

Mom: It's American Pie 2.

Me: Some intern is either effectively ending his internship at the trade publication or really really hates this movie.

Sis: Heeheehee.

Me: This movie is seriously gay.

Mom: Maybe the movie wrote its listing itself.

Me: Because it knew it was gay?

All: *laughs laughs laughs*

Sleeping Boo On the Couch: *cute baby snores*

Me: This has to be saved for posterity *rips listing out*

End Part I

1 day / left to live

biked six miles (ok ok, 5.25 miles... i enjoy rounding up)

enjoyed sweating

before that? office work here, office work there.

enjoyed that.

on the plate for the upcoming weekend? heh. heh. heh.

going to the renaissance festival with a jason to my left and a jason to my right. one being a patootertoot and one being a sea lion of sorts. can't-fucking-wait. very choice people watching.

after a three months of being smoke-addiction-free, i really want to conquer that problem of smoking at bars or parties. granted going to a bar or party is about a twice a month thing now... you know shit's gonna kick up in these hot months and i really don't like the burny feeling the next day.

maybe i'll replace social smoking with something cute, like social quipping. i really want to work on the quips as joey pointed out that when i'm being funny i strongly remind him if jeanne garafalo. gotta to leave this sour girl stigma behind.

Mood: chipper

1 day / left to live

for some reason, i took a brief stop at "on air with ryan seacrest" whilst flipping through the 200 channels trying to find something to capture my attention during my lonely little lunch time. i've never liked eating alone. i want conversation. i want to cook for someone. i want meals to be an experience. anyhow, back to ryan seacrest, mulit-media gadfly extraordinaire. three days grace (that awful "i hate everything about you" band) finished the last few notes of their song and premium-crest-white-strip-smile ryan mosied over to feign an interview. what does he do? he reads lyrics from the song and asks questions about each line as if every word was the literal, ie "so, you sing 'i hate everything about you. why do i love you' i think you need to get out of that relationship, brah!" (insert smarmy smile and audience laughter while the lead singer just stares incredulously) "but seriously, do you think in order to love someone, you have to also hate them?" at this point i turned the tv off. i don't feel so lonely now. now the silence is peaceful. thank you ryan seacrest, three days grace, and the producers who made the decision to book the band for the show. thank you for reminding me that i really need to head over to our massive book collection and pick something up of jason's that i hadn't tasted yet.

2 days / left to live

happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me. i look like a monkey, and i live in a tree. and many mooooore..... yup. oh, and a happy early birthday to will.

party. joe's house. friday night. birthday fun.

6 days / left to live

at the dillinger show, two unassuming dudes stood behind me during the locust's set. dude one says with an accent habersham thick, "man, these guys are crazy fast!" dude two with same surprising southern slow drawl "if they were a hand job, i wouldn't last two seconds". that was just the sort of evening it was. now that i know a little more about the locust, i wish i'd pushed past the pain, but the final song had such an increasing frequency of pitch aimed to melt your brain, for the last two minutes i had to plunge my finger tips into my ears. the dillinger escape plan, of course, knocked my non existent dick into the dirt. by far one of the most memorable live performances i've even witnessed.

my birthday is coming up. forget this valentine's day shit, a day of erica is where it's at. poor jason has an eventful february. our anniversary was the third (amazing art supplies) valentines today (my givenchy indecence that i'd been out of for 6 months). my birthday on the 24th (already purchased AFI tix... i thought i didn't want to see them live anymore as they've turned into big douche bags, but when they came through in april i got very pissed at myself for not going... it's a part of youth i don't want to give up yet).

oh yeah. after the show on the 28th i want to have a poker tournament party for the beginning of my 23rd year. hosted by the gang in decatur..?..?..?... hopefully. anyway, come one, come all. bring money to ante up.

quick over view of the span of time since i last wrote: had an overwhelming personal event change my view on life, moved to athens, worked at the news paper, had a lot of fun, turned into more of an adult, jason graduated, i quit the paper, we moved out of athens and into cumming, now we both work for an educational magazine in roswell, he as the editor, i as a marketing/advertising/idea pitcher/assistant to the publisher. that's about it. we're compiling money and starting an IRA, saving for a car, etc etc etc. that's it in a nut shell. now i need to dryel some nicer clothes, cause while it is the day to get down with the getting down, my sister planned my favorite boo's 3rd birthday party to start at 2pm on this, the day of love. outtie 5000.

Music: it would be your enemies friends, but the cd is in my car...

3 days / left to live

still packing. my room is almost completley done... it would've been finished last night but i had some much needed one on one christopher time. quick trip cappucinnos and beef jerky for him. you couldn't get me to try that stuff if you paid me. ok.. maybe if you paid me, but only because cash is tight right now. what i love about my friendship with christopher, besides that it started over the phone in 8th grade whilst i sat in her drained downstairs bath tub, is that no matter how long we go without seeing each other, no matter what life changes we go through, no matter the how we develop in to new people, who we are with each other is always the same. the base link in our personalities is something that will always be there. a love of literature? a need for logic and romanticism to reconcile itself? a good idea of who we'd like to be? i don't know. something that produces ease and conversational flow, and allows the few silences to be be comfortable ones. it felt good to talk to someone about all this who hadn't gone through it with me. christopher knows how to handle me. anyhow. enough blathering about my love of the chris.

i've been having strange dreams the past few nights. dreams out of the past. i wish they would go away. i awaken in a state where the dream still seems real and reality doesn't settle in till after i take a few steps past the bed.

you know, i've never shared a room with anyone. thank god for extra closets and an armoire. our room. our kitten. our apartment. our. big steps.

i finally broke my can't stop listening to new radiohead album. i needed a change... but by this afternoon it'll probably be right back on. for now, it's morning time with coldplay. i'm gonna make some tea, hunker down and pack those breakables and my bathroom cabinets. then it's off to the living room for dvd pack up and then tackling the kitchen. ugh.

Mood: content
Music: coldplay - god put a smile upon your face

1 day / left to live

it's easy to forget to write when you're busy living. so what does that say about this sunday morning... taking a break from packing up my room. a week and a day till moving time. up to the even more damp and hot climate of athens. i've lived there half my time for a year anyway, save the 3 months wright spent in france. when i look over my writings (what i hand write) the majority of it comes from athens. when i'm here there's nothing to fuel me. i've used up atlanta in the winters and the little area of decatur has nothing.

news of the past month and a half since i've posted:
- i'm addicted to ginger ale
- starting the second week in august i'll be the new production assistant at WPUP fm, rock 103.7 athens
- wright's mom bought us a kitten (adeline, or ada for short, after the first track on elliot smith's XO) to help me out with a rather personal experience that frankly would make me sick to type about here
- went to florida for a week with the fam, but the tropical storm came through and we only got to be on the beach one day out of the seven we were there
- got my radiohead tickets for the october 6 show

ofcourse ada, who woke me up at 9 this morning against my will with her licking and nibbling and meowing is now sound asleep on my pillow. i should go meow at her till she gets out of bed.

i wish everything in my room would magically clean, organize, and pack itself.

i am such a nerd.

Mood: grumpy

1 day / left to live

ok, i tried to post this in response to a comment on will's journal, but it exceeded the number of characters allowed in a comment, so i'll just rewrite it here. i still can't believe i lost the entire original essay. damn me for not copying and pasting it into a word doc in case of some livejournal bullshit. if you would like to read the original thread, go here

if you would like to read my response, ( go here )

3 days / left to live